My name is Klaus Pierre 
Written for my friends and fans back in America.

I am surprised to learn many people have watched part of my shit on Internet. I hope you find it amusing, entertaining or not so boring to the pouint that you want to go to the toilet every 5 minutes.

I don t know who can read me and why you want to read me anyway but here  I go as you say in this country of yours, fuckers.

I am roughly 30 years of age and now I am facing a difficult situation.

I have a story. One girl spit at me one time when she learned I was French. I was disguted. I could not believe that this is my life, that somepeople are able to hate each other on the basis on color only.

Actually me the same, I thought Asians were strange until I got here. I love them to death. They always smile and don t smell like French people, my people in the subway. They also less organized than us the Germans, I am also half German if I may say. I know not all of you like this part of me and I try to hide the fact I am German most of the time. 

Chinese people are always cute and always happy when I say Yes I want a massage.

The other day somebody offered me a dog to eat. I did not want to do it because I know people think it is bad. I actually found out it is not too bad.

Just like ninjas people, I had the opportunity to meet and fight with ninjas and even sumos when I was in Tokyo. It is really great to be around those people, no matter how fat they are. They make you see life in a new way which I thought was not possible at all. For instance they tell me life is possible wherever you are in the world and that means that mean( I know I repeat myself, it is god sake) and stupid people are actually people who were deprived of love in their childhood so I should not judge. I am sorry to address this issue if this issue is an issue of yours at some point in your life.

I have a story.

This guy in LA one time was beating me to death in a park in front of people. Well. I know now that this guy was deprived of love. I now want to be nice to help him and hug him. Maybe I can not give love to him but maybe I can give hug. Before I wanted to kill the mother fucker, now I want to tell him how much he is a pity to the world and that how poor is his life. He has no self esteem probably a shit esteem I d say.

Also in Japan I learned that dogs do “wan wan”. They do a different sound than France “ waf waf” or even American dogs. We are living in truly what I call a global international wonderful world, would you not agree?

People always ask me about my German heritage. You know it is hard to talk about this for obvious reason. I DON T want to look in the past. Sometimes the past is locked for obvious reasons and we have to agree with that or leave. The door is always open for the one than can see….just like the proverb in Star Wars says.

Matrix, the film is a different story. Mattrix is more than one film. It is a concept and revelation to the world. I think we should make it a new church. There is a church of Christ after all, why not Matrix?

I think this film revolutionize the world as we knew it and showed the most beautiful human being on this side of the earth, Keanu Reeve, I truly believe Keanu comes from somewhere else that is not accessible to us, it is something that we common people can not understand. I think his mind and his skin are made of gold. I think he is there to save us.

Since I have seen that movie, my life changed. Like totttally, awsomly, I d say. Before I used to be a mechanics and nobody liked me. I mean almost nobody. Ok. There was my childhood friend Jean Pierre Keit but that was about it. Even him did not help me and turned his underwear the other way when it was time to help me.
Most of my neighbors were throwing bananas in the morning to me when I used to go to school or use to make me force to eat schprodle. I suffered, you have no ideas but now I understand those people were not dickhead or assholes but people deprived of love. I am starting to study psychology with a shrink and maybe one day I will do a PHD and then a MBA in Human behavior to understand how people s mind functions and interact with one another.

This morning I got up and thought how the world is fascinating. I mean my old girlfriend in Germany called me out of the sky and started speaking French and Japanese to me and I understand every word. It is a miracle. 

I don t know if there is a god because I never met him  or something or he never talked to me like he talked to Jesus, Judah, Bouddha or Joan of Arc ( I am showing my own education and culture people lol)  and all those guys and girls but I believe there is science.

I believe the world comes from atoms or some shit like this or that. I met this guy very smart one time. He had graduated with two GED by 19 years old in Fitzgerald, Georgia. He told me about the size of the earth, the woman s vagina and many untold stories that only people have heard about once in their life.
It is very hard now my life. I am in China and try to study Chinese.

In chinoise language, I can only say GONCHENCHE it means INGENIERE  and I am not an INGENIERE so it is hard to use. I can say by now 21 more words but I don t want to tell you because a guy keeps filming me and he says I should tell everything I know how to say.
 

He started to film me in January..then those people on boing boing tv, they were filming me when he was filming me..Then I had to leave USA and he left with me.

In Japan I went to the “Kissing bar”, it is quite amazing. Girls seat with you and kiss you for 15 minutes and you can touch their tities too. They are the kissing bar all over the red district, it is very beautiful what those women are doing for the world. In return they want money which I guess it is normal, it is as we say in the business world ( I met people in the BENTURE CAPITALIST world) we say it is their bread and butter.

You should check it out if you go to Tokyo but try to get a Japanese friend because they don t allow foreigner. I became friend with a Yakuzo and Keiko or Kyooko help me get inside.

At some point I even think the girl liked so much that she was going to ask my phone number to go out have some rice but she did not. But I think I could have scored like big time.
 

When I get reflective on myself,

I am so far away from the time I grew up. I am like zillions of light years away so I don t know if I want to go facebook or not.

I am a different guy. I don t know if people who knew me in my troubled teen ( I hang up with the bad side of the crowd) I  don t want to scared my friend know. Also I don t have a big success yet in Hollywood because when I left Germany I said

FUCK YOU ANYONE I DON T GIVE A SHIT TO ALL OF YOU GUYS, FUCK EUROPE, FUCK FRANCE, FUCK GERMANY.

Some people took it badly.
I think I was in a high emotional stage when I said that. I don t say I regret because there is no stug thing as a regret. I think people who regret things are bastards or salopards as we say in French.

So I have no regrets as “My Way”, the sing of Sinatras. It is my second favorite sing ever. The first one is the number one hit recently Girlfriend Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. This song really talks to me. I can relate. I think all guys around 30 can relate that song. I think it is stupid when I heard that only young girls like it. I mean come on, what do they know about life yet?
Let me go back to my Chinese part of my life. Sorry.

In China the tough thing is the pollution and I guess the hard language. It kills you. Sometimes I want to be dead when I wake up or when I go to be. Today I tried to buy a converter for my computer , I tried to explain myself and the guy brought me a girl with no panties and he says “ Go backroom, 7 minutes, you pay after”.

I just wanted a converter. I don t know how such a mistake is possible. It was a horrible time. I felt I was such a shithead.

I just learned for Obama. I am happy. At last a real change.

Obama is still a young man but I am confident in his potential. I think he can learn politics. He makes beautiful sounding speech. He is a piple person.

I think it is good that Bill Clinton will not be president again because I love him first time the way he was and I am scared that the second time in office he won t be so good anymore. He is getting old. I heard of McCain but I have not read his program yet so I can not judge. I am not smart enough to understand him, maybe in mynext life.

In  America I trained with many people to become an action star and I have to say that some of them were pistt off big time when I tried my best to do my best in boxing, fencing and shit like that. 

One time a black guy (more black that obama) told me, I like you white dude. It was the most proud day of my life so far in my life in Hollywood until now as far as I can remember. I still don t believe it happened just like that. It was in the moment.
I know that more and more things happens like this. All of a sudden things change and your whole world is messed around. In one way I think it is cool. In another way…